#30: New Beginnings: Endless Possibilities

We are always experiencing new beginnings or starting over a new chapter of life. We reflect on what we did, what we have achieved or not, what went right or wrong, and how we can do better next time. However, new beginnings may not be quite easy for everyone, so in this episode, I will share some ways you can make a lighter and better new beginning with exciting and endless possibilities! Listen now!

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Credits: 

Song: Green Lights
Performed By: DLP
Written by: Daniel Labate (BMI 100%)
Published by: Boss Soundstripe Productions (BMI 100%)

Song (Trailer): Epic Hybrid Trailer Music
Performed by: by 2CoolFire
Licensed by: Envato Market

Cover Photo: Angela Clifton Photography
Hair and Make-up: Casey J. Cheek

Transcript

Welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast. My name is Katia Mesquita. I'm a life coach, an online business entrepreneur, and your host on this weekly variety show. I'm excited to bring you an extra dose of inspiration to reorganize life to find and go after what you really want. My goal in this podcast is to help you achieve a more successful, harmonious, and meaningful life. I can't wait to connect with you today. Thank you so much for tuning in, and now let's begin. Hello and welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast, present in 52 countries worldwide. I want to thank you all so much for listening. I'm your host, Katia Mesquita. This is episode number 30, and today's episode is all about new beginnings, endless possibilities because as life unfolds, we are always experiencing new beginnings, starting over a new chapter of life, and at the end of a chapter, many of us usually take a moment to reflect before beginning a new one.

We reflect on what we did, what we have achieved or not, what went wrong, what went right, how we can do better next time, what lessons we have learned, and the good time we had in the process. Many people do this reflection at the end of the year in preparation for the next year. Some of them do it at the beginning of a new year, and others do it at the end of a project. It doesn't matter when you choose to do this reflection. The point is that as we end a chapter, we are in front of a new one about to start, and these reflections contribute to making a better blueprint for this new beginning. But in order to do that, we need to allow ourselves to make it a fresh start and write this new chapter using a new page. Something fresh, free of ink stains, with plenty room to write a new story because if we utilize old, stained, written, and crumpled pages to begin a new story, at least two things can happen. 

First, there is not going to be enough space to write new things, of course, the pages already gonna be busy, and maybe a little room just to write part of a story, right? And second, whatever we can write down would get mixed up with the old crap that would contaminate the new chapter, leading us to a confusing story. And I want to make this analogy with hard feelings we sometimes carry from the past. Those heavy and stagnant feelings, resentments, anger, sadness, traumas, frustration that people sometimes carry into their new chapter, and it ends up perpetuating this stuff, and carrying on this stuff into the future is a decision you can make, even for traumas. For those who might be asking, Katia, how come I have any decision to carry a trauma or not?

Yes, when we decide to do nothing about a trauma, and we carry this trauma into the future, we are making a decision. Even a decision to not making a decision is a decision. Anyway, when we give ourselves a chance to a new beginning, we are supposed to leave the bad things fully behind, even if we need to do something to release them because we just need to carry the lessons, and this is what will open a window to multiple new possibilities, amazing experiences, discovering new, exciting things about ourselves, things that we never imagined we were capable of. I just did some reflections myself, especially after finishing the previous version of my workshop. For those who are not familiar yet, I host a workshop in which I help people attract their own clients and revenue online. It was awesome. I want to thank the amazing messages from some of my students.

Demi says, "I'm rating her workshop five stars. I have done so many courses, etc, and this is truly the best one." Thank you, Demi. Karen says, "This workshop is perfect for beginners in the entrepreneurial journey." Thank you so much. I'm so excited, not only about this previous version of the workshop but also excited for this new version of the workshop about to come, and I feel honored to be a part of this new chapter of their lives. But back to the episode, designing a better new beginning, in other words, begin with the right foot, isn't easy for everybody, right? So I'm gonna give you some helpful ways you can do that, make it more, make it easier for you, and note that they are mostly related to being and doing instead of having or acquiring material things.

The first one would be redefine your core values. Make sure you update your core values because, of course, they can change over time. As we evolve, our values also evolve. Your core values are what will guide your actions. They will be the foundational structure of the life you want to build. Just to give you an example, one of my core values is personal growth. It's very important to me to be better than I was before, and I'm always studying. I am a longlife learner because personal growth is a core value for me. It guides my actions, my behaviors, what I select to watch on TV, for instance, what I select to listen, what I select to read, the way I select my friends. It reflects in my whole life, even what I do or what I teach. If I'm coaching someone, I carry these values with me. Even my podcast. You can see it carries this value. So, of course, I have other core values. You can actually, if you search on the web, you can find a list of personal core values and you can see which ones resonate with you. They are very important and need to be very well defined because they will help you with more confident decision-making. You become more confident when you have this foundational structure in your life. 

Okay, the second one is adding different perspectives. You have your own perspective, okay, I get it, but consider also getting different perspectives before making a decision. You are gonna have a deeper perception before you make a decision. You can get different perspectives from many ways. You can get it by talking to different people from different cultures, and of course, I'm not saying talking about your privacy to strangers, no, but you know, general situations, you don't need to exactly explain what's going on with you personally, but you can talk and get people's perspectives. You can also get different perspectives from books. They can bring approaches, ideas. Another thing to consider when building this new beginning is being honest with yourself, especially when you are making choices. If we make choices based on what others think is best for us, we may lose precious time until we realize that if we were deeply honest about what we really desired, we would have chosen something different. 

Let's move on. Another one is being authentic. Be true to who you really are and live conforming to your own values instead of in accordance with the values of others. Trying to appear to be who you are not just to fit in or to be accepted, is exactly what can lead someone to not being appreciated. It's true. I know that when we are authentic, we may repel certain people, of course, but it's a good thing because while we repel people who don't share the same values, we are attracting those who not only share the same values, but someone who will also appreciate and love us much more. Trying to fit in or being liked by everyone is like chasing two rabbits at the same time. We may end up with no rabbits at all. And don't get me wrong here, authenticity doesn't mean having no limits. It doesn't mean disregard social norms or be insensitive to others. We still need to adapt to the circumstances and situations. We still need to create a balance and be authentic and polite at the same time. 

Okay, I love being on my pajamas, wearing pajamas at home, and don't ask what I'm wearing now. Yes, I'm wearing pajamas. That's why I avoid video podcasts because I love so much being on my pajamas, and it would not be appropriate. So, there is no excuse for me to show up. Yeah, when I am sharing some content on social media, sharing something about my personal life, or I'm sharing my camping trip, yes, I do have some videos and images with pajamas, but I don't show up for my students wearing pajamas just because it would be authentic. No, this is not being authentic. There is a limit. We need to adapt, and there is also a reward in being authentic, even when we are praying. I will share something very quickly with you. There was a moment in my life I was experiencing, you know, when everything goes wrong and you are doing everything right, the best you can, and everything was doing wrong. You know when you say, like, it's too good to be true? It was too bad to be true, and I was, okay, there's something here because this is too much.

And then you know what? I'm going to just make a prayer here. There is something going on, and I really need some guidance. So, I decide to make a prayer and make it my own way with authenticity. And I noticed that most of the time when my prayers are answered, I have been authentic. So, I didn't say vague words or, you know, those thoughtless repetition of words that we heard or someone told us to tell in prayer. No, I spoke to God as if I were speaking to my best friend. Still, with respect, I didn't call him Lord or something that is not like me. You know when you have your best friend, and you have a special name to call? This is kind of what happened, and I, somehow, from my heart, I did a simple, heartfelt, and authentic prayer, asking for guidance. And no kidding, the day after, I was getting the answer, someone very close to me just came with an article. In this article, I had the answers I needed, and as I was starting to apply those lessons from that article, everything started to get better.

Another way to start with the right foot in your new beginning is being more selective. Making choices based on values, whatever new friends, it's good to make new friendships, but just make sure you have been choosing by values and also reflect about the friendships that you have. Some of them may not necessarily share the same values that you have. Maybe you can rethink about certain friendships if they are being, like, supportive, if they are being people who can make a difference in your life, or if they are dragging you down or bringing that heavy energy that don't add anything. We can also be more selective in relationships, intimate relationships. I learned it the hard way, but the important thing is that we learn, right? Not everyone qualifies to be our friends, to be a part of our lives. I don't like gossip. I don't select people who come to me with gossip. People who engage in gossip unfortunately think they are making themselves more relevant, but by doing so, actually they're doing the opposite because the same way they can talk about other people to me, they can talk about me to other people. The relevant people to me are those who add value, are those who bring up valuable information, insights, people who celebrate even small wins, or people who somehow are grateful and comfortable with what they already have, people who share exciting things about the future, about what they want. So many values people can add instead of, you know, just bringing things that are low vibe, right? 

Next one: deciding on some things that you would like to have accomplished by the end of this new cycle. When you do that, and you commit to creating a plan to make it happen, wonderful things can happen. Even if things don't go exactly as planned, but you have more, let's say, more possibility to get closer to what you wanted. And there is so many good stuff that you can have and receive during the process. You can have fun, you can have new experiences, amazing moments in your life in a way that when you look back, you can, oh, wow, that was awesome, that was good. Next one is letting go of what doesn't serve you. Let go of fear, let go of bad influences, let go of excessive distractions, resentment, and for resentment, for instance, I do one exercise about forgiveness. It's helpful, and when I talk about forgiveness, is not really about others, especially those people who don't even care or who don't even ask for forgiveness. It's about ourselves, about taking out that heaviness from our chest and feeling lighter for a new beginning. 

So, I do have one forgiveness exercise here. I'm going to make it with you today. It's from one of my mentors. His name is Jim Fortin. He came up with this magnificent forgiveness exercise that we can use to forgive others and also to forgive ourselves because, sometimes, it's really hard to forgive ourselves. Sometimes, we wish we have done differently, and we cannot just delete and go back in time, but we can take this pressure out of our chests, okay? So, if you are up to do it right now, just repeat after me. For those who are not driving, you can close your eyes because it helps, and you're going to see how much difference it can make. And I'm gonna quote him here.

"For forgiving yourself, you are going to say this: I am someone who was once a child. I am someone who was innocent, joyful, and free. I am someone who was forced to grow up. I am someone who has given up on dreams. I am someone who has acted out of fear. I am someone who has known suffering, sadness, and defeat. I am someone who tries not to show pain. I am someone I can forgive." Okay? This is powerful. And if we want to address to other people, we can just change for he or she, depending on the situation. But for the sake of this exercise, I'm going to use this, okay? And please have the person in mind, that person you don't want to have a coffee with. So have this person in mind now, okay? This is someone who was once a child. This is someone who was innocent, joyful, and free. This is someone who was forced to grow up. This is someone who has given up on dreams. This is someone who has acted out of fear. This is someone who has known suffering, sadness, and defeat. This is someone who tries not to show pain. This is someone who I can forgive. Alright, I feel lighter. I hope you do as well. If you did, please let me know, okay? And there are so many other exercises, just stick with me. We are going to have a lot of new stuff in our journey. 

So, the next way we can have a better new beginning is recognizing, nurturing, and preserving what is really important. What is important to you? What people are really important? Are you giving too much importance to people who don't care about you? Things are going to shift when you start nurturing more people who value you more. Next one: matching behaviors with your values. Act accordingly with these values. It builds trust. For instance, a person whose value is being honest but keeps behaving with what they call little lies, this is not gonna work. And the funny thing is that lies show themselves. It's very evident. It shows in the body language, shows in the eyes, shows in the voice tone. Next one: embracing new experiences. Sometimes, we get too comfortable in our comfort zone, and we kind of avoid new things, new experiences, and that's why so many people at the end of a cycle just don't feel like they had any significant experience or they feel like life was boring or something or they don't have a smile on their faces because it's just the same. They don't do exciting new things. Maybe something you really enjoy but you haven't been doing, or you never did, like going to dance classes or maybe, I don't know, go fishing, go camping, go doing something different from every day, at least once a year. And this is really good when you embrace new experiences, especially related to things that you like, things that sparkle your curiosity and make you light up. This is really something to think about. 

Hi there, Katia here to make a quick announcement. One of the biggest mistakes people make when they want to change their lifestyle and start attracting their own clients in revenue is quitting their jobs before preparing what they need. It usually happens because many of us were taught just how to become good employees with no access to marketing information that could actually set us free. Well, I've been there, and after discovering how marketing works and applying it myself, I started experiencing the freedom to work with something I really enjoy. Choose the days and time I'm available to work, travel wherever I want, whenever I want, and I wish the same for those who also want to experience that. I believe that a job can be something transitional, and marketing information should be accessible to everyone. That's why I've created the masterclass, "Attract Your Own Clients and Revenue Online." I wanna show you how to utilize your expertise and marketing strategies to attract your own clients and generate revenue online so you can step into the freedom you were meant to have. And better yet, this masterclass is absolutely free. To register, visit my website at neatlifestyle.com/programs or click on the link in the show notes of this episode, and we can get started right now. 

The next one is being more action-taken and process-driven toward your goals. I'm putting them together here because they need to be combined. Be more action-taken instead of just sitting and waiting where life takes you, and also be more process-driven. Okay, we go after our goals, but we need to be a little bit more process-driven, and there is a difference between being goal-driven and process-driven. We all pursue goals, but a person who is exclusively goal-driven usually burnout because they have as premise go after their goals no matter what, without considering a lifestyle that allows them quality of life during the process. They sacrifice everything, they are not loyal to their core values because, for them, what really matters is to get to the finish line. They very often lose relationships and try to rebuild later, and when they realize, sometimes, it's too late. They usually miss special moments of their children growing up, and when they realize they already grew up and there is no way they can go back in time, and they lose those precious moments. And people who are process driven, they are also pursuing their goals, but they consider the process. For them, the way to get to the finish line is as important as the achievement. Even if it takes longer, they preserve their energy, their peace of mind, time to recharge, time to enjoy with their family, have fun in the process, and enjoy all the steps of the way. 

Another way to have an amazing new beginning is never ever comparing yourselves to others. Each one has their own path, their own limitations, their own challenges, their own time to reap the fruits of their efforts. See those who already have what you want. See them as an example or a motto to follow or someone to learn from, someone you can get closer and ask questions and learn from. And the last one would be see life more as a movie. Life can be weird, wild, fun, adventurous, sometimes scary, challenging, thrilling, emotional, but this is what somehow make us feel alive. We need variety in our lives. We need something a little bit more unpredictable sometimes, and this is the beauty of life. If we compare to a movie, why do people have so much fun watching, like, scary movies, unpredictable or adventurous movies? Why not just a calm and predictable movie? Because it's boring, right? Nobody likes a boring, predictable movie. In the beginning, when we see it's predictable, oh, no, already know the end, oh, okay, so no big deal. Life can be a big deal if we see a little bit more like a movie, more in the sense of us having experiences, oh, okay, I had this. It was an experience. And at the end of this new cycle, you realize that you had fun, you suffered, you made choices, you cried, you loved, you laughed, you were loved, you challenged yourself, but you created endless possibilities and realized that you lived instead of just existed. 

That's all for today. And remember, this podcast was meant to give you insights to enhance your life with lifestyle changes that can help you improve your performance and be successful in what you really want. So, you are invited to listen to previous episodes. They were built to remain up to date. You can listen to them in order or just scroll through them and see which topic resonates with you. I hope you received some value. If you did, shoot me a DM on Instagram and let me know how this episode spoke to you. I can't wait to hear from you. I'm Katia Mesquita, and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye! 

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you liked what you heard today, be sure to share it with those you care about so they can also benefit from it. If you aren't already following me on social media, do so by clicking on the link on the show notes or simply by visiting my website at neatlifestyle.com. I appreciate you so much. I hope you have an amazing day. I'll see you in the next episode of The Neat Lifestyle Podcast.