The Neat Lifestyle Podcast

#18: Reassembling Your Identity (Part 3 of Changing Our Inner State 3-Part Series)

Katia Mesquita Episode 18

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In part 3 of this three-part series, we will talk about reassembling your core identity and completing the three elements to reshape your inner state, which is the most important part of achieving what you desire and experiencing fulfillment in your life. Listen now!

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Song: Green Lights
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This is The Neat Lifestyle Podcast, episode number 18. Today's episode is all about reassembling your identity, so stay tuned.

Welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast. My name is Katia Mesquita. I'm a personal organization expert, an online business entrepreneur, and your host on this weekly variety show. I'm excited to bring you an extra dose of inspiration to become more organized, stay organized, and make things work better for you. My goal in this podcast is to help you achieve a more functional, harmonious, and meaningful life. I can't wait to connect with you today. Thank you so much for tuning in, and now let's begin. Hello and welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast, now present in 39 countries all over the world. Thank you so much for listening, and I wanna also thank all of those who sent me direct messages on Instagram with feedback saying how each episode has contributed to making some difference in their lives. Your feedback makes my day and fuse me with good energy to keep going and keep bringing even more good stuff for you. 

I'm your host, Katia Mesquita, and today's episode is part three of this three-part series. It's a day we'll talk about reassembling your core identity and completing the three elements to reshape your inner state, which is the most important part of achieving what you desire and experiencing fulfillment in your life. And why is your inner state so important? It's basically because opportunities in our lives come through people, and people are attracted by what we exteriorize from within, from our inner state, and your inner state also attracts people willing to provide you with good opportunities, whether it is an opportunity to make more money or have a better relationship or in many other areas of your life. Our inner state basically determines our future because it's what attracts people to choose you, giving preference to you, for instance, instead of others when they want to buy a product or service, for instance, choosing you for a good job position or choosing you to be their romantic partner and so on.

And as I mentioned in episode number 16, our inner state is what can change our reality, and it's composed of three elements. First one is our vibration, second one is our beliefs, and the third one is our identity. In episode number 16, we spoke about our vibration, also known as our vibe, right? People with good vibe or not a good vibe. In episode number 17, we spoke about our beliefs and how our beliefs can direct our action in our favor or play against us depending on what we choose to believe. And in today's episode, episode number 18, we are going to talk about the last element, which is our identity. When things are not going well, people usually wait for things to get better, to transmit a good vibe to others, or to have a better belief about their opportunities in life, about possibilities, and to become who they want to be. 

And that's exactly why things take too long to get better. Because it's backward. When things are not going well, we must transmit good vibes to others, believe in ourselves and believe in better opportunities, and become the type of person who attracts those opportunities so things can get better. And becoming the type of person who attracts good opportunities and good people has to do with our identity. In some cases, people's identities are built in a way that doesn't help them, and they need to reassemble their identities. And what do I mean by identity? Everything that defines us. In other words, everything we say after "I am." And why is it so important? It's because the way you define who you are, which is your identity, combined with what you think about yourself, your beliefs, will determine the energy you emanate to others, which is your vibration. 

And these three elements combined will attract or repel people in ultimately good opportunities. So, be careful with what you say after the words I am. If you say, for instance, that you were a loser, it's because you believe you are a loser, then you will act in ways to confirm that by behaving in ways losers do and transmitting the vibration of loss to people, people who could represent a good opportunity or bring better opportunities for you and you end up repelling these people or repelling the better opportunities or whatever, preventing good opportunities from happening in your life. So, if you are experiencing unfavorable outcomes in your life, you need to start by reassembling your core identity and to do that, you must see yourself from a different angle, from a more favorable angle, then you can make things possible to shift for you for the better, okay? 

And how to do that? How do we reassemble our identity? Successful people begin with the end in mind, and here are some tips, actually, 10 tips on how to reassemble your identity. Tip number one: make an assessment, questioning how you are defining yourself at the present moment, and don't judge yourself. Don't self-attack, okay? Take a hard look facing what's really going on. How do you introduce yourself? What do you usually say you are? Is it usually in a favorable way? How do you present yourself? Remember, this communication is not limited to verbal communication. You also communicate through your body language and your behavior. So, your body speaks. People notice and pick up on things, so pay attention to that. 

Tip number two: defining what type of person you need to become in order to be successful in a certain aspect. You don't wait to be successful first in order to become the type of person who is successful. It's backward. You first become the type of person who is successful, okay? By adding some new behaviors, characteristics, and so on in order to attract and reflect success in your life. People who already have what we want are not to be envied. We are supposed to look at them as role models for us by learning their habits, what they changed in their lives to have the results they have, applying similar things to our lives so we can create similar conditions, okay, to experience similar results or even better results because you are gonna make in a way that works for you. Probably, for that role model worked in a certain way, but for you, it's different. It doesn't have to be the same. It's just a model, like a starting point. We learn from successful people. 

Are you taking opinions and suggestions of people who are not successful or, even worse, worried about what these people who are not successful are going to think of you? And one way that's very helpful to become the type of person that is successful is hanging out with higher-minded people. We talk a lot about hang out with like-minded people, which is good, okay? I prefer to hang out with more like-minded people than with lower-minded people, right? Even though sometimes it's inevitable, sometimes these lower-minded people are people in the family or someone in your work environment. It's something that we cannot actually avoid, but we can minimize contact with this kind of people and it's good for them to still be in touch with us because somehow we can still add value to them. But one important thing is to also consider hanging out with higher-minded people because this is actually the kind of people you can learn from. 

And if you are not hanging out with higher-minded people, it's because you need to become the type of person they like to hang out with. And what do you need for that? Paying attention to what you add. When you go to talk to a higher-minded people, are you going to obtain something or to add something to add value? What values do you bring? The same values they already know or something different? Sometimes, it's just a different perspective of the thing, and you get that by your own experiences and also from books. So, this is one of the many reasons we should be always reading books, or it doesn't matter if reading or listening to audiobook versions. I do it a lot. One thing that successful people do is reading at least at least 40 books a year. And of course it depends on the size of the book, but I'm just saying average. And I make sure to choose titles that are going to add value to me. 

So, it depends on what you read and what your core values are, so it can enhance your values and then you can add more value to people when you bring these values to a conversation. That's how people start to invite you for other stuff, and then you start to participate in higher-level activities. And when you hang out with high-minded people, you start noticing that lower-minded people start to feel uncomfortable, start to criticize, start to notice that you are different, and that's when I start to minimize contact with them. Anyway, we learn from successful people, and a good book I strongly recommend you to whatever, read or listen to the audiobook version of it. It's available in Audible. I'm gonna also put the link on the show notes. It's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. 

Tip number three: reframing who you are in a favorable way. even if you're not there yet, you can affirm things in a favorable way by highlighting your best qualities or by making a transitional statement. So, if you're not a specialist yet, just to give you an example, you can say something transitional like "I'm specializing" in whatever you're still studying. So it's a very good thing that you can say about yourself and it shows that you are on it in a good way. So you don't say like, "I'm nothing," "I'm not a specialist." You can be specializing in something which is so valuable. So, recognize that, identify that in yourself. What are you specializing in? So, be nice to yourself. Say good things about yourself. You can find the best qualities to highlight. Remember, valuable people usually look for valuable people to hang out with, so present yourself and act as a person who has value, because if you show up as a person who has no value, by not valuing yourself, they will just disregard you in the first opportunity. 

Tip number four: developing authenticity. What you say must be congruent with your actions, your values, and desires. Just to give you an example, if you say that you are patient and always rush people or tap your foot fast on the floor, it means your actions are not in congruence with what you say. Another example is when people say they are honest and clearly act in dishonest ways, making it difficult for others to believe them in the first place. 

Tip number five: developing self-love. If you love yourself, you value yourself. If you feel like you don't love yourself, if you feel like having no reason to love yourself, please send me a DM. I'm gonna send you some good exercises for you to overcome that, okay? I have some exercises that you can do for free. Anyway, search within you, reasons to love yourself or working on creating new behaviors, creating new reasons to love yourself. Being valued starts by valuing yourself. Just be careful in keeping balance. Excessive self-love in a way that you don't consider others in the equation can play against you as well. 

Tip number six: express integrity. Honor your word. Your words mean. If you say you are going to do something, do everything in your power to make it. Sometimes, of course, in exceptional cases, something beyond your power can happen, but they are supposed to be rare exceptions, not the rule. If you are committed to something and somehow you are not going to be able to make it communicate with the person. 

Tip number seven: improving self-awareness. Harvard Business Review points to two types of self-awareness. One is internal self-awareness, which represents "how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations." The other one is the external self-awareness, which means "understanding how other people view us." 

Tip number eight: choosing the appropriate clothing for the occasion. People make a mistake believing they're being authentic by showing up on their pajamas or whatever comfy clothes they use for staying home, hanging out. It's a huge mistake because if you want to communicate professionalism, you need also to consider the appropriate clothing to the type of clients you want to connect with, the type of person you want to connect with and the type of occasion. 

Tip number nine: choosing an adequate photo for what you want to convey. For example, if you choose a photo of you in a barbecue at the pool as your profile picture in a professional environment is not adequate. If you are building a professional profile, your photo needs to convey, okay, that professionalism you want to express. 

And tip number ten: strengthening your personality by positioning yourself as confident and determined and not easily influenced or worried by other people, okay? 

So this is the end of this three-part series. It's all about personal growth. If you want to try coaching programs in personal development, check out my coaching programs. Just head over to www.neatlifestyle.com/programs or click on the link on the show notes of this episode. I hope you had some good takeaways. If you did, send me a direct message on Instagram telling me how this episode spoke to you. The link to my Instagram page is also in the show notes of this episode, and you can also follow me there for extra inspiration. I'm Katia Mesquita, and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye!

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you liked what you heard today, be sure to share it with those you care about so they can also benefit from it. If you aren't already following me on social media, do so by clicking on the link on the show notes or simply by visiting my website at neatlifestyle.com. I appreciate you so much. I hope you have an amazing day. I'll see you in the next episode of The Neat Lifestyle Podcast.

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