The Neat Lifestyle Podcast

#17: Getting Rid of Limiting Beliefs (Part 2 of Changing Our Inner State 3-Part Series)

Katia Mesquita Episode 17

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Mess in our lives has a lot to do with limiting beliefs. Do you have limiting beliefs?  In today's episode, let's find out together and discover how getting rid of limiting beliefs can place us a step closer to achieving what we desire. Listen now!

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This is The Neat Lifestyle Podcast, episode number 17. In today's episode, we are gonna get rid of limiting beliefs, so stay tuned.

Welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast. My name is Katia Mesquita. I'm a personal organization expert, an online business entrepreneur, and your host on this weekly variety show. I'm excited to bring you an extra dose of inspiration to become more organized, stay organized, and make things work better for you. My goal in this podcast is to help you achieve a more functional, harmonious, and meaningful life. I can't wait to connect with you today. Thank you so much for tuning in, and now let's begin. Hello, hello, and welcome to The Neat Lifestyle Podcast, now present in 39 countries worldwide. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. Of course, I cannot list all of the countries in just one episode, so today, my special thank you goes not only to my listeners here in the US, but also in the UK, Netherlands, South Africa, Italy, Brazil, Portugal, Spain, Norway, Congo, Philippines, Singapore, and Georgia.

Thank you for pushing play today and thank you for so many of you sending me direct messages on Instagram with a feedback about the podcast and how it has contributed to make some difference in your lives. I'm your host, Katia Mesquita, and in this episode, we are going to identify our limiting beliefs and get rid of them because when our lives get messy, it has a lot to do with limiting beliefs. Of course, there are good beliefs, but there are also beliefs that don't serve us. They limit our actions, and sometimes they get us stuck, and we are going to fix that, find the way out, get life back on track. The way out is by changing our inner state. We attract people and better opportunities with our energy. As I mentioned in the previous episode, when things are not going well, people usually wait for things to get better to transmit good energy, and this is actually a not good approach because it's backward. When things are not going well, we must transmit good energy, good vibes, and happiness so that things can get better. We need to shift our inner state. It can determine what kind of people and opportunities we attract to our lives, changing our reality. Our inner state is the sum, the result of three elements: our dominant vibration, our beliefs, and our core identity. 

Today, we are going to talk about the second of this element, which is the beliefs. So, today's episode is going to be part two of a three-part series, so if you haven't listened to the previous episode yet, in which I talk about raising our vibration, I really recommend you to stop listening to this episode now and go to episode number 16, which is part one, so you can get the sequence, the whole picture, and get the most out of this three parts series. And if you're not following this podcast yet, follow on your favorite player, whether if you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or any other favorite one, to make sure you will complete this three-part series because it's going to be a game-changer for you. 

Anyway, our inner state can attract or repel people and opportunities and, ultimately, attract or repel what we desire. That's one of the reasons so many people struggle by learning, learning, learning, enrolling in courses, knowing what they have to do, and learning technical skills, but they're not taking action. And for that reason, they are not achieving anything significant. They feel like running around in circles and getting nowhere. Technical skills are not everything. You must look at your situation from a more comprehensive approach in which you consider your inner state, which includes your beliefs. Some people know what to do, but they need to work on their beliefs. What they believe is not in alignment with what they want to achieve, so this is a point to be working on. And there are beliefs that definitely are good for us, definitely are helpful and serve us, but it is important to identify those beliefs that don't serve us and hold us back. 

If you don't believe that the results that you want are possible, if you don't believe that you are good enough or confident enough, or don't believe that you can be successful, or don't believe that the project you want to create will actually work, you will not do what you need to do because to do something you need to believe first. In other words, you just don't take action. Your beliefs must be in congruence with the results that you want. If you want something to change in your life, you need to change your beliefs first because beliefs precede our actions. We act accordingly to what we believe. Just to give you an example, if you're going to offer your service or product for someone to buy, believing that the person is going to be bothered by your offering, this belief is going to determine your behavior, how you offer, how you show up to talk, your approach, what you will say. Everything will be reflected from the perspective of your belief. You must change your belief to be successful in what you are offering. 

Instead of believing that you are going to bother the person, start reframing it for the belief that you are offering a great opportunity in their lives. Then, you really start to add value to your services or products in order to build something that is actually going to be a great opportunity in their lives. You are not begging or asking for help when you are offering something. You are actually offering a great opportunity for them to have your products or services. How many times have you been sold something and you liked? How many times you would like to buy it again? Without an internal transformation, it is impossible to experience an external change. And how can we fix that? How can we modify our inner state to our advantage? 

First, let's define beliefs. Beliefs are thoughts that we no longer think about because they become established as what we understand to be true. Beliefs are what we accept as true or certain. Some beliefs are good, serve us, some beliefs hold us back, keeping us from succeeding, and this is what we call limiting beliefs. By identifying and transforming our limiting beliefs, elevating our vibration, and aligning our core identity with the reality we desire, we modify our inner state for a higher level to achieve what we want. The beliefs we have can be created from our past experiences, especially in childhood based on interpretations we did about unpleasant or pleasant experiences. Our beliefs can come from our parents, our education, school, friends, TV... What else? Life events, our vision about the future, our traditions, society, and so on. The thing is that what we believe guides our actions, and we usually don't take the time to question what we believe. If we believe we are incapable and never question this perspective, we will never take the actions needed to succeed. Louise Hay said, "If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you."

You might be giving yourself a life sentence based on your beliefs because all your actions will be guided by them. If we believe we are stupid, we are going to act as stupid. Select stupid people to hang out with, watch stupid stuff on TV or on the internet, and not even read a book or have a conversation with smart people because stupid people don't do that. You must believe in yourself in order to succeed. You need to see your qualities and develop them. You have special talents, even if you haven't figured out what it is yet. You must believe that you will find good people, good resources, guidance, help, and great opportunities on your way because if you believe you won't find anything, that's exactly what's going to happen. We usually see just what we are looking for. If we look for the good, we find the good. If we look for the bad stuff, we find it. Seek, and you shall find, right?

Beliefs are usually the root cause of our outcomes in life. Our beliefs create our reality because they influence how we perceive and interpret what happens in our lives, and these perceptions and interpretations generate thoughts and emotions that will affect the way we respond to facts in life, establishing the dominant frequency in our brains. As I mentioned on the previous episode, episode number 16, this dominant frequency of our brains are also going to determine what we attract or repel in life. So if you believe that you are not worthy of wealth, for instance, you start to attract people who underpay you, or you start to sabotage opportunities to make good money and build wealth. I have seen people offering a service and saying to me, "Oh, no need to pay me anything," and I ask, "Why not? What is preventing you from receiving a payment for the helpful service you will do?"

Then the person started to question it and finally accepted and gave me the quote and, at the end, received the payment. If we believe that we are not worthy of something, we are going to act in ways that confirm our beliefs. If we believe and feel we are not good enough, we will encounter situations that make us feel inadequate because we are going to act in ways that confirm our beliefs of not being good enough. If we believe and feel we are not worthy of good relationships, we are going to act in ways to confirm that and sabotage relationships.

I wanna share with you two other perspectives that I learned from my mentor that were remarkable to me. One of them is when people operate from beliefs related to judgment and criticism. If we judge or criticize someone who has what we want, something like "that person has a fancy car, a fancy house, and it's very successful. Therefore, that person is selfish or greedy." Just an example. So, if we judge the person greedy because they have a fancy car or fancy house or is very successful, we have the belief that success means being selfish or that success is a bad thing, then we would start self-sabotaging and pushing away success and things we want because we don't want to be greedy or selfish. Another one is when we operate from the belief that we don't know what we want. Believing that we don't know what we want is usually a lie we tell ourselves or others because if we assume and tell that we know what we want and don't get it, we believe we are a failure, and failure itself can also be a belief or a misinterpretation of temporary defeat. When we test something, we are just discovering ways that don't work until we find what does work. Failure just exists when we give up, and we can identify what we want by identifying what we don't want. This is the place to start. 

The opposite of what we don't want are the things we want, and by narrowing down what we need to do in order to get what we want, we can find out our primary goals. When we say we don't know what we want, we are denying our purpose. The good news is that beliefs can be changed. Okay, and how do we do that? We'll get there in a moment, okay? But let's go to some signs that you might have limiting beliefs. One sign is not achieving anything significant, not getting what you want. It's very likely to be related to a limiting belief. You just need to identify. Another one is you feel like running around in circles. Another sign is when you have a lot of knowledge without taking action. Another sign that you might be dealing with limiting beliefs is self-sabotage. When you take actions or behave in a way that contradicts what you desire. I have seen a lot in relationships, for instance. Usually, the girl wants a more intimate, serious relationship, but she suddenly says, "I need some space, I need to be alone for a time," and then the guy doesn't understand what's going on and okay, and somehow it shakes the relationship, and she comes and "Oh, no, no, this wasn't what I meant" and try to, you know, reestablish things and it's self-sabotage because she doesn't believe the relationship can work, then she starts taking actions and behaving in a way that contradicts that. Another one is avoiding or postponing actions. Are you doing that? If you are, ask yourself why. Probably, there is a belief behind it. And another one is fear. Having fear has a lot to do with limiting beliefs, so we gotta pay attention to that. Good books, good podcasts, mostly, like, related to self-improvement, coaching programs can help you with that, but here are some things that you can actually do to get rid of limiting beliefs. 

The first one is identifying if you have limiting beliefs and what limiting beliefs you have. And how can we do that? How can we identify if we have limiting beliefs? A belief doesn't show up as a belief to begin with. It's a little bit hard to identify that we have limiting beliefs and what these beliefs are because, for us, they appear in our lives as just the way things are. They show up as what we believe to be true, and we don't question it because we believe it's just the way it is. But there are some ways we can figure out that can be helpful, especially to identify which ones are beliefs that serve us and limiting beliefs. 

First one: when we feel good about them, and they allow us to keep going, to achieve our goals, to do what needs to be done, okay? This is a good belief. But on the other hand, if what we believe doesn't make us feel well, make us feel uncomfortable or prevent us from going after what we want, doing what needs to be done, overcoming what it takes, then it's very likely that we are dealing with a limiting belief. Start noticing where your focus is, where it feels heavy, overwhelming, bad, negative emotion. One good way to figure that out is writing down the reasons why you don't have the results you want. That's your list of beliefs. When you start to write down the reasons why you don't have the results you want, that's your list of beliefs. 

Number two: questioning. Stop running on autopilot for a little bit and start questioning and asking better questions. Favorable what-ifs. Instead of saying, "What if it doesn't work?" Just change for "What if it does work?" "What if they want?" What if they like?" Start to ask what-ifs in a more favorable way for you because it's gonna make your brain start working to find reasons to make things work.

Number three is developing self-love and compassion. Be nice with yourself. Stop beating yourself up.

Number four: being honest with ourselves. When we question ourselves, when we get real, honest, and face what's really going on, we can really understand ourselves and get to the right points. 

Number five: changing the meaning of our beliefs to more favorable meanings. Just to give an example, if something we are doing goes wrong, if you change the meaning of what you believe to be a failure to what you can actually experience as a temporary defeat or just a testing phase in which you are figuring out and discovering things that don't work until you find what works, then you are creating a chance to have more favorable outcomes. 

Number six: reframing statements to a favorable outcome. Besides changing the meaning of our beliefs, it's important to change our statements, whatever we verbalize, to a favorable outcome. Instead of saying things are not working, we can say things are getting better and I'm finding the way to make things work. 

Number seven: taking action. Just get up and do it. Once you know what to do, once you reframed and changed your beliefs, start doing, our primary challenge and responsibility is to take charge and assume that we are responsible for our reality and do what needs to be done, creating reasons to believe things are going to work for us. 

That's all for today. In the next episode, we are going to talk about our core identity and how it can impact our inner state. It will be part three of this three-part series episode. I hope you had some takeaways today. If you did, please send me a direct message on my Instagram telling me how this episode spoke to you. The link to my Instagram page is the only show notes of this episode and you can also follow me there for extra inspiration. I'm Katia Mesquita, and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye!

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you liked what you heard today, be sure to share it with those you care about so they can also benefit from it. If you aren't already following me on social media, do so by clicking on the link on the show notes or simply by visiting my website at neatlifestyle.com. I appreciate you so much. I hope you have an amazing day. I'll see you in the next episode of The Neat Lifestyle Podcast.

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